lemons, ribbit!

 There's a logical reason why I'm writing all of this out right now.

I know sad feelings are not felt alone.

I know it's actually selfish to bring everyone down with you.

I'm mostly writing this out because I want to prepare myself for the future, and to warn myself of what to look out for next time, if there ever will even be a next time.

My biggest dilemma right now is trying to figure out how social of a person I enjoy being. 

I woke up at 4:30 AM and I'm sleepy right now, yet there is a bowl of rice before me that I made without putting too much thought into it. 

I want to be honest with my feelings, and right now I honestly feel okay.

I'm bummed I don't have that "exciting" thing going on.

I'm also bummed that I lead myself into believing I could have a normal future. 

I'm a bit confused as to what I want next if anything. I want nothing.

I wish to desire nothing for a while, and I wonder if society can handle that. 

I want a nap. 

There ain't an ounce of forgiveness left within me. I'm taking this one to the grave.