Saturday, April 2, 2022

 There's a logical reason why I'm writing all of this out right now.

I know sad feelings are not felt alone.

I know it's actually selfish to bring everyone down with you.

I'm mostly writing this out because I want to prepare myself for the future, and to warn myself of what to look out for next time, if there ever will even be a next time.

My biggest dilemma right now is trying to figure out how social of a person I enjoy being. 

I woke up at 4:30 AM and I'm sleepy right now, yet there is a bowl of rice before me that I made without putting too much thought into it. 

I want to be honest with my feelings, and right now I honestly feel okay.

I'm bummed I don't have that "exciting" thing going on.

I'm also bummed that I lead myself into believing I could have a normal future. 

I'm a bit confused as to what I want next if anything. I want nothing.

I wish to desire nothing for a while, and I wonder if society can handle that. 

I want a nap. 

There ain't an ounce of forgiveness left within me. I'm taking this one to the grave.

Friday, April 1, 2022

 So tired.. 

Losing sight of the things that matter

and trying to pick up the pieces

like picking up glimmering shards

of glass with bare fingers

 

Le sigh. 

I won't be so melodramatic. There's so much joy surrounding, just in other directions for now.